It all seemed to be going well

I think I can quite honestly use the word fuck. I should be writing to you now from my place of work, quipping about being back. Instead I'm sending it from the hospital that some of you will remember from my previous messages. Yesterday I had another fit.

Now don't panic. This isn't going to be like the time before. The tumor has been removed. And that's part of the problem. If there's no tumor there, so what's putting on the pressure?

Three things have changed over the last week: I came off the steroids; I started drinking a little whine; I came out in a rash. Now I'm not gonna speculate on the steroids, but I will on the other two. Let's first put a 'little whine' into context. One glass a day of half red whine half water for the three nights in a row. The following day, after my first glass, I developed a rash. I assumed this was to do with getting too much sun, but could it an allergic reaction to the booze? So now I'm just waiting for answers and another scan.

This could be a problem for driving. If I don't know what's causing the seizures, I don't know when they're going to come. And if the DVLA don't know either then it's anyone's guess as to when I'll get my license back. I don't suppose I would let me get behind a wheel at the moment.

So what happens when you have a fit? In my case it starts in my right foot with small twitch. Then spreads up the leg until you arms are flailing about for thirty seconds. And then everything stops. I started coming back round about an hour later, but wasn't fully conscious for another couple. During that period I knew what was happening and where I was, but I just wanted to sleep. I dozed through about an hour of Murder She Wrote before I called Anisa.

Here I am in hospital, waiting for a scan before I can go home.

Will update you with what I know when I know it.

J